Domestic Violence; The Hidden Secret

There is a hidden secret in homes all across America that most people chose to ignore. This is my place to share my thoughts, views and occassional rants about the issue of domestic violence. It is my hope that this blog will prove to be an educational tool that will shatter the myths and misconceptions surrounding the issue, raise awareness and motivate all members of society to take a stand against violence against women.

Location: New York, United States

Monday, May 14, 2007

That's What I'm Talkin About!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so I'm not as consistent with my blog as I'd hoped to be and at times, life gets in the way and I almost forget I even started one. The past few months have been that way and then some. Until tonight when an email rolls in that someone posted a comment on my blog. I check it out and was excited, to say the least. Alright, I know, I'm quite the dork but whatever, let me get back to my point.

I'm going to make this short and sweet. The person that commented on my blog is a gentleman who, while listening to an NPR broadcast pertainig to domestic violence got to thinking and did some research. Quite to his dismay, it was not easy to locate resources for a victim who might want to leave their abusive partner but is reluctant to because they fear the abuser will in turn harm or kill the family pet. The broadcast he listened to is indeed very accurate an many, many victims are not aware that help is available not only for them and their children but for the most helpless family member that many forget about; the family pet.

In my area, pets are now permitted to be named as protected parties on an Order of Protection and through a collaborative effort, the local SPCA will house the pets of victims that need to leave the home for safety reasons. The SPCA locates the most appropriate shelter for the animal based on breed, needs, etc. and will house the animal for as long as the victim needs. Problem is, this information is not readily available to a victim in crisis and unless they reach out to a hotline, they will not come to learn of this option.

Here's where the poster on my blog comes in. After realizing the problem, he did not complain about it for a bit then move on with other things. He's DOING something about it. Not only is he doing something about it, he's doing it in a responsible manner, not claiming to be able to provide a counseling type of site but rather a site comprised of resources for victims to access when their family pet is in need of protection.

Now that's what I"m talking about!!!!!


Blogger Tim Bahlke said...

WOW Wendy ... thanks!

-- Tim

6:16 AM  
Blogger Linda said...

Hi Wendy,

I'm a CSUN graduating Senior and one of my final projects for my major was to make a short video. The story I wrote deals with domestic violence in a relationship. I decided to so this to hopefully open people's eyes about this subject, whether they are in that type of relationship or they know someone who does. I have family and friends who have suffered and are still suffering through this, so it is a subject that is very close to my heart as it seems to be close to yours as well. Our goals seem to be similar ....keeping this on everyone's minds and talking about it instead of ignoring it....and hopefully helping others to do the same.

The link will take you to it. I hope that you will consider posting the link on your blog so that others may see it. I don't want to tell you the ending but let me just say that it's the reality in many cases, and the reasons can vary in different you posted in a previous blog entry.

Thank you.

Linda Arellano

5:12 PM  
Blogger Tim Bahlke said... is live. Please tell everyone you know!

-- Tim

8:38 AM  
Blogger DEB said...

I have just completed a book titled Family Terror that is available at The name of the book is significant. By calling this abusive behavior domestic violence or a domestic dispute we give permission for the violence not to be taken seriously. If a fight happened in a fast food restaurant we would not call it a hamburger dispute. It would be a crime. Also, Family Terror is a crime.
And there lies the ultimate solution. We don’t need more conventional shelters. In fact we will need fewer conventional shelters if only we treat “Family Terror” as a crime. The abuser is the criminal. It is not a logical solution to hide the victim and let the abuser run free. There are technical methods to guarantee protective orders are enforced.
If we continue down the path we are currently on, this violence and its results will multiply with each generation. Stop and think about one abuser and victim and their children. How many lives will be impacted in the next generation or next 50 years because of these people? Keep in mind that most children grow up to be either a victim or an abuser if they were raised in that environment. It is also important to note that 80% of the people who are incarcerated today grew up in abusive homes. So each of these crimes causing the incarceration, also had victims as well.
The most prudent use of funds is stopping the abuser. If the abuser is stopped, many things will change for the better. This abuse is the TRUE SILENT EPIDEMIC in our country.
Anytime there is a great deal of money being passed around, there is going to be issues embraced that are selfish and not wholesome to the good of the cause.
The big question is how can we the proper solutions started and cease the improper band aid expenses that are just plain wasteful of our tax money.

9:35 AM  
Blogger nwp on the road said...

Your profile says you're also a reader. Survivors of abuse and their supporters are contacting me to share how much they felt empowered by OUT OF THE PUMPKIN SHELL, my novel that just came out in May. While much of the story is humorous, it deals with a serious topic: emotional abuse. It's available through Amazon. Check out my website at

11:44 AM  

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