Domestic Violence; The Hidden Secret

There is a hidden secret in homes all across America that most people chose to ignore. This is my place to share my thoughts, views and occassional rants about the issue of domestic violence. It is my hope that this blog will prove to be an educational tool that will shatter the myths and misconceptions surrounding the issue, raise awareness and motivate all members of society to take a stand against violence against women.

Location: New York, United States

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Why I'm Here

Alright, so I never saw myself as someone that would start their own blog. For the most part, I'm not the most tech savy person I know. In fact, most times, I'm on the phone with my dear old brother asking him ridiculous questions or calling my fiance to ask him how to answer the call waiting on my new Blackberry. However, while I may be new to this thing called blogging and my new fangled cell phone that I thought I was soooo cool for purchasing, I'm not new to an issue that plagues every member of our society whether they choose to recognize it or not. That issue is domestic violence, family violence, partner abuse, intimate partner violence or whatever it is you chose to call it. What it boils down to is the cruelty, brutality and inhumae treatement millions of women and adolescents suffer at the hands of an intimate partner.

Some might call me a radical feminist, others at times have even referred to me as a "femi-nazi" which I had a good laugh at. Reality is that I'm not all that radical and do enjoy the occassional time in which my fiance might hold a door open for me and even more importantly, take out the garbage. Hey, why should I get my hands dirty when he can do it for me, right? Doesn't sound so radical to me. But, if one considers a woman who does not buy into the nonsense that the man is the king of the castle, has the right to degrade and control their partner by means of verbal assaults, physical brutality and complete isolation as a radical feminist, then a radical feminist I am. Now I know that many might read this page and chose to pretend as though these things don't happen in their neighborhood or family as the old NIMBY mentality of Not in My Backyard is still in full effect. Truth is, this is happening in all neighborhoods across the country. Domestic violence does not discriminate and doesn't know any boundaries...all women can find themselves a victim and even the kindest, most personable man you know could very well be the perpetrator. Victims and abusers come from all walks of life, all economic classes, educational backgrounds, ethnicities, race and religions.

There are many contributing factors at play here however the most damaging is the fact that the issue, even today in the year 2006 is not openly discussed. Too many people chose to turn the other way when the issue is brought up. Too many people wrongly blame the victim and the perpetrators face little to no consequences for their actions by the criminal justice system.

Through this medium, I am looking forward to discussing the issue of domestic violence in its entirety ranging from the forms of abuse, cycle of violence, options available to victims, the response of law enforcement and the lack of serious penalties for perpetrating these heinous acts. Through this blog, I hope to raise awareness of the issue and motivate all of us to take a stand and take action to begin to end violence against women.

Working in the field of domestic violence for almost eight years, I have seen it all. With this has come many triumphs combined with frustrations. Working at a non profit, the funds for advertising and materials that are so desparately needed to educate the public and raise awareness simply are not there. There is so much to do and say and every day I am limited due to the lack of funding. At the same time, because of the nature of some of our largest funding sources, much of what I have to say is usually censured as to be politically correct.

Well is my opportunity to say what I'm thinking so hang on and enjoy the ride!


Blogger Home Sweet Home said...

Nice looking blog. Glad to see you are starting it.

9:05 PM  
Blogger Wendy said...

Thanks, I'm very new to this but I have a lot to say and think I can be helpful to those that might be in need.

9:28 PM  
Blogger TMH143 said...


As a recent victim of domestic violence, I have been so absorbed in my own blog as a means to vent and help me in my recovery, that I did not think to look for others on the subject of D.V.

I wanted to pass on to you that when I read your posts, I was comforted and grateful. I like your style!

Thanks for being there, and for living "out loud" as I am learning to do!

7:50 AM  
Blogger DH said...

It would be interesting to see what your position is on male victims of DV - it is out there and it does happen.

I am aware of the various theorists on both sides of the divide - those who state that it is a woman acting in self-defence or reacting against male patriachy and then from the other side it is more prevalent than female victims etc.

I know from my own experience of working with male victims of DV how they are treated - the police laughed at one person, social workers ignored another or just said there was nothing they could do - this wasn't a reflection on the social worker but there were no support services that could be accessed.

I fully accept though that the majority of victims/survivors of DV are women however I do feel strongly that DV is seen as almost a 'male disease' and ignoring the impact of this on men who are victims is only adding even more to the issues they are facing

4:38 AM  

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